Beauty Within

Finding the beauty within is something that is not discussed often enough.

As a women I am told I much act a certain way, I must dress a certain way, I must behave in a certain manner. FALSE. NOT ACCURATE.

Once I found myself within I no longer held myself to societal norms!

What makes me happy is not something that is going to please everyone. As individuals that’s what we are. Individual. The word means: of or for a particular person, single or separate. It can be an adjective or a noun. It means we are all distinct!

For a very long time I felt as though it was my life’s mission to please those around me. I became a care taker while sacrificing my own happiness. If I could make it happen for you, I would. Even at the cost of my happiness, my inner worth, and my identify at times. I got lost in the who, what, when, and where. I became someone I was not because I thought my happiness would come from seeing your happiness. My identity become a self-sacrificer.

Every day I find some sort of beauty within myself and other people. Before we touch on ourselves let’s look at others.

Read the entire book. Do not and I repeat do not just look at the cover. What I mean is before you judge someone based on their clothing, hairstyle, or even make up get to know them first. The people I take the time to genuinely know are the ones I build ever lasting sentimental relationships with.

Instead of asking someone how are they doing? I often ask are you happy? I love learning the small things. You like music but why do you love this genre the most? There is always more to a person than meets the eye.

I believe in attraction rather than promotion.

In this world we live in today we are consumed with what is the most popular new thing going on. This can be in music, fashion, trends. We look at what’s being promoted rather than what we find attractive.

Today I find myself attractive because of the beauty I have found within. I admire my hard work ethic. I admire my willingness to be open and honest about all aspects of my life. I admire my integrity. I admire my person because I am my person today.

Inner beauty is something that takes us a while to find. I believe we all struggle with insecurities. It’s about finding acceptance of those insecurities. It’s about finding the assets in our selves. It was once suggested to me to ask five people assets (good things) about myself and write them down. Here’s the twist! Three of the people should be close friends. Two of the people should be someone you don’t care for. Ouch! Give it a try yourself and see what happens. When I completed the little character building assignment, I learned that the people who I did not like actually thought very highly of me. I did not read the book, did I? That’s right, I just looked at the cover.

If you allow yourself you’ll be amazed with what looking inward will do for your mind, body, and spirit.

Remember, People are like oreos, the good stuff is on the inside!

Remaining Sober

Getting sober is the easy part. Remaining sober is the hard part.

Whether you attend a 12 step program, whether you once did and no longer do, whether you attend a religious program , I do not care. Whatever helps you to remain sober and grow.

Being in any sort of recovery program can be very hard for anyone. When you first make the decision to get sober it’s hard. It’s hard because its turning away from your normal routine. Getting hammered was my normal routine. You said change my people, my places, and my things. I felt stripped of everything.

Today I understand why that is. If I hang around people who are drinking I will likely drink. If I go to the same places I used at it, it becomes a trigger for me. If I didn’t change my routine how could I expect to be successful in my new goals of remaining sober?

I have met people on all different paths of life. Some young, some old, some were drunks while others were drug addicts. The longer I stay sober the more I realize many people do not and that’s okay. Why is it okay you might ask? Quite frankly, that is their choice to make, not MINE.

For myself I have been sober for going on five years. I personally do partake in a 12 step program. I have seen people come in and out of the program. I have seen people come in and never return. I become close with these individuals. I choose to value the time they are in my lives. I learn something from everyone if I choose to remain teachable.

Remaining sober for me is a choice today. I am no longer a slave to the alcohol. It does not consume my thoughts or dreams.

I watched my mother slowly kill herself from drinking. There were multiple hospital visits. Long nights and tears shed. May she rest in peace. I am writing this blog because it helps me to remember why I chose the #SoberLyfe and why I continue to choose this lifestyle.

Today I work in the treatment field and help other people to find sobriety they so desperately seek as I once did. There are times I think about drinking until I remember I cannot. I cannot drink socially. When I drink I become someone else. It’s on a deeper level. I become careless. I become senseless. At some points I became a monster. Addicts and alcoholics are not broke. They just need some understanding and compassion.

Remaining sober brought me back to my friends. It gave me a career not a job. It allowed me to return to a normalized life if there is such a thing. It showed me who I am as a person. It has allowed me to further my education and obtain a college degree. It has allowed me to be an active member in the recovery community. Today I am a sister, daughter, and aunt. I once was the family embarrassment and today I am the family member someone calls if they are struggling.

Remaining Sober. I choose to remain sober for today.